


Too Many Details

by Antipode



Series: I Was Lost Without You [11]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Custom Shepard (Mass Effect), Dirty Jokes, F/F, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Innuendo, Lesbians in Space, No Lesbians Die, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antipode/pseuds/Antipode
Summary: Liara is trying to enjoy her morning tea in peace when Vega, Joker, and Donnelly attempt to make her the butt of their jokes... as usual. This morning, Liara isn't in the mood.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni
Series: I Was Lost Without You [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937521
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Too Many Details

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posting to re-organize a series of short vignettes in the lives of Sybilla Shepard and Liara T'Soni, spanning ME1-ME3 and including backstory & some future content. Largely told through Liara's POV.

"What's that big smile for? Thinking about me again?"

Liara T'Soni blinked, her drifting mind jolted out of more pleasant reveries and back to a slightly mortifying reality. She registered her hands around the comforting warmth of a cup of tea, the gentle, ever-present hum of the Normandy's drive core, the subdued chatter of human soldiers over breakfast. The smug, incorrigible smile of one Lieutenant James Vega, breakfast in hand and mischief in his eye, backed up by the likewise-grinning faces of engineer Kenneth Donnelly and Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau.

Liara made a show of rolling her eyes. "Yes, Lieutenant Vega, I am fondly thinking of our many pleasant memories together."

"Knew it," he howled, sitting loudly next to her. "Such as the time this impressive specimen of human physiology rescued you from Cerberus on Mars?"

Vega dropped his voice conspiratorially. "I could always give you a private, candlelight tour of the armory. If you wanted to 'inspect the guns' a little closer."

Three years ago, on the Normandy SV-1, she had endured such teasing from Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, among others, with far less preparation and experience dealing with humans. Now she merely groaned and rolled her eyes again, doing her best to ignore the bloom she could feel start to spread across her cheeks.

"Come on, Vega," Joker shook his head. "There's only two things that make Doctor T'Soni smile like that. Either she's been climbing around in some old Prothean ruins… orrrrrr…." his eyebrows waggled. "She's been doing some 'other' kind of climbing."

"Oho!" Vega guffawed. "No wonder she's grinnin,' Doc got lucky last night!" Liara could definitely feel the slow blush creeping up her collar. All three of the humans laughed.

She knew they didn't mean anything by it. Knew human crews dealt with the terrors of war, the tensions of ever-present conflict and ever-looming death differently than asari: through humor, for example. Knew all three soldiers respected her, trusted her, and made her the target of their jokes out of a sense of friendship, not cruelty.

But for some reason, today she didn't feel like being the butt of this oft-repeated joke. 

"Yes, I did, as a matter of fact," Liara said evenly, maintaining deliberate eye contact with James as she took a slow sip of her tea.

The marines stood in shocked silence for a moment before guffawing loudly enough to draw the attention of the other crew in the mess hall. "Alright Doc!" James choked, eyebrows climbing. "Good for you. Commander's a lover _and_ a fighter, huh. She rock your world, or what?"

He was attempting to call her bluff. She knew she had caught him off-guard, earlier, and now he was attempting to recover by forcing her to continue. Any other day and he might have sufficiently mollified her into backing down, but this morning she was possessed with a boldness that shocked even her.

"My entire universe," she affirmed in an exaggeratedly languid, breathy tone. "We spent all night and most of this morning in bed." A ghost of a smile flitted across her lips. "And on the floor. And the sofa. And the desk. And in the shower. And the elevator..."

She was quite certain she was turning a bright shade of purple, but found to her surprise, she didn’t care. Her words had the intended effect; Vega, Donnelly and Joker all seemed flustered by her cavalier tone. She took another long sip of her tea, as much to calm her nerves and give her hands something to do as maintain the illusion.

"Ach, that's… going to be a hard image to shake the next time I see the Commander," Donnelly stammered, red-faced. 

"Yeah, you just made it weird," Joker coughed. "Like… like walking in on your parents having sex."

A strained silence.

"Fly-boy, did you just compare Commander Shepard to your mom?" Vega blurted, whole body convulsing with barely-restrained laughter. Donelly was biting his fist, and even Liara couldn’t help but stifle a giggle.

"No, no- no!" Joker protested. “No, I absolutely did not. I said - what I said was -”

“You just called Commander Shepard _your mom_ ,” Vega hooted.

“No, I did not!” Joker hissed, “And keep your voice down, jarhead! God, I can’t take you two anywhere.”

Liara thought Vega might actually rupture a blood vessel. “Afraid mommy dearest will hear?”

“Hey, it’s sexist to assume she’d be the mother,” Joker countered. “She could be the- no, no, I just heard it, that’s much worse.”

Wordless peals of laughter filled the mess. Vega, tears streaming out of his eyes, pounded on the table and held his sides, unable to catch his breath. Donelly was sprawled against a dividing wall, likewise unable to do much else but rock back and forth as waves of laughter overtook him. Liara covered her mouth in both hands, her shoulders shaking silently. The surrounding tables of marines and crew, having caught the last part of the exchange, were likewise carrying on.

“I miss something?”

Shepard’s voice, equal parts hilarity and curiosity, rang out through the mess as the Commander strode in, still in her workout attire from another early-morning training session, data-pad under one arm, coffee in hand.

“Officer on deck!” a voice Liara recognized as Ensign Copeland barked, and the mess was a clatter of tables and chairs as a score of soldiers pulled themselves out of their hysterical laughter and snapped to attention. Wincing slightly, Shepard waved them away.

“As you were, as you were.” She strode over to the table Liara and Vega sat at with a casual purpose, some kind of mischief already twinkling in her eyes. “G’morning Joker, Donelly. Vega, you been skipping cardio again? You look a little out of breath, soldier.”

“Aha,” he wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. “Very funny, Lola. No, we were just hearing all about your ‘workout routine’ this morning from Doc.”

“Well,” Shepard shrugged as she slid in on the other side of Liara, oblivious to the subtext. “You can never seem to keep up with me, so sometimes I’ve got to take matters into my own hands. Hi, Birdie.” She leaned over and planted a quick peck on Liara’s cheek.

“Your hands?” Vega leered. “Or hers?”

Shepard arched an eyebrow.

 _This has gone on long enough,_ Liara thought. _Time to end this._ She leaned over her bondmate, draping a forearm over her shoulder and nestling her head against Sybilla’s, eyes locked onto her verbal sparring partner. “Oh, _her_ hands were quite securely bound in a biotic field,” she purred, trying to channel Aria T’Loak’s sexy-smug tone and expression. “It was _my_ turn to play the… Commander.” She let her lips and tongue linger over and savor every syllable, enjoying the thrill of the mental images that accompanied the words.

Vega, breaking into a coughing fit, stood abruptly. “Annnnd that’s my cue,” he said in a strangled voice. “I’m gonna… go… yeah, I’m gonna go uh, hit the showers. For awhile. Uh, later Lola. Doc.”

"I'm going to, ah, head down to engineering," Donnelly muttered. "Think I’ll, ah, take the stairs… Stiff walk… cool air… that's the ticket."

“Yeah it just got weird again,” Joker stammered. “All of a sudden I’ve lost my appetite.”  
And, just like that, all three scurried out of the mess, not a one of them daring to give Liara a backwards glance.

Liara felt Sybilla’s weight shift as she leaned into her, felt a hand slip around the back of her waist and tug her in just a little closer. “Those boys bothering you again, Doctor T’Soni?” she murmured, nuzzling the side of her head.

“No, ma’am,” she giggled softly. “Not after I told them we had spent all night and all morning having sex.”

Sybilla let out a choking laugh, nearly spilling her coffee. “You did _what? Liara!_ ”

“James and Joker had made a joke that I must have - what was the phrase they used? ‘Gotten lucky’ last night?” She tried to keep her face demure, shrugging and reclaiming her own cup of tea.

“And you put them in their place.” Sybilla smirked. “Well done, Birdie. Well done. There’s just one problem.”

“Oh?”

“Well… _you_ went to bed early last night...” she said, eyes locked on Liara’s, in a low, deliberate voice that had very much the same effect on Liara as soft fingers teasing the underside of her crest. “... and _I_ got up early this morning. And it would be poor form to deceive the crew on the whereabouts and activities of their Commander.”

“That… sounds serious,” Liara breathed, her heart racing. “What can we do to… remedy the situation?”

“Meet me in the loft in five minutes,” Sybilla whispered, "And I'll show you."


End file.
